i know you see what you're doing to me, tell me why

...

you could write a book on how to ruin someone perfectly

...

i'm sick and tired of your reasons, you say you love me then push me down

i once was young and starry eyed and now i have these bittersweet memories

I'll grow old & wind up alone. I'm convinced of this. I only fawn over people that are unattainable & if someone does try, I shoot them down. I didn't mean to...I got complimented then asked for my phone number. I turned an awful shade of radish red, said no, then ran for cover. I have some sort of social disease I think...

Edward seems to be a lost cause. I was likened to a kitten & string, with him being the one that controls the string. I agreed (in my head) & said "ENOUGH!" Then he told me I looked nice today...one stupid compliment & I go all gaga. So much for self control. But then, I never had any with anything in my life...which is why I am where I am now.

But the following quote is why I love my friends so much. When explaining about Edward then the poor mall guy that tried to ask me out, & how shy I really am...this was her response:
"you're hot and smart and one of the raddest people i know. it's selfish of you to keep it to yourself."

Maybe one of these days...I can't remember a sober meeting for anyone though...maybe I need AA...or a psychotherapist.

quote

The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult...the day the child forgives himself, he becomes wise."
-Alden Nowlan