Wednesday, May 6, 2009

You'll learn to hate me but still call me baby...

Wow! So I can get to this from work, amazing!!

Nope, I didn't get arrested from offing the laptop just broke & I've been unmotivated to update. Opps! Damn! Blame them!!!!

I vacationed back home in Florida last week & it was amazing. We swam, shopped, ate & rested. Along with seeing a bunch of people while doing all of the above. I didn't want to come back to awful Virginia. & of course as soon as I get back, the nasty weather greets me. GRRR! At least it's still staying somewhat warm. I actually had to use my AC for one of the days too, *gasp* (& that was only because my kid was hot, I thought it was nice & toasty at 79 degress!)

My little kiddo learned quite a few curse words this vacation. & now he's going to have to unlearn them. Quick. His grandmother offered to take him for the summer!! Well, for 8 weeks so I can take some more college courses & FINALLY get my AA. It's only taken me 9 years...*sigh* She's confirming that the daycare by her house has opennings & then he's gone. Strange. I hope he doesn't exclaim "OMG WTF?!" if she does something silly. Or call her a bitch again if she tells him no. Damn that kid picks up a lot!

I'm pretty excited about going back though! Else than the part where I'll probably be older than everyone :/ I only signed up for 1 credit hour so far, it's one required class - college success or something silly like that. If she can't take him, I can still take that class because it's on Saturday. It's 2 Saturdays in June or July and then it's over! I wish ALL classes were that fast & easy! I have to take my math & sciences, & history...that'll be hell, especially since I haven't used either in about 10 years. Maybe I'll surprise myself! I have been watching Animal Planet & Discovery Channel & the History Channel over the years! I must also remember to get heavy duty pepper spray, my coworker said it's not that great of a place at night...

I started "dieting" on Sunday, May 3, 2009. I'm psyched about it! I'm on this website called sparkpeople & it's pretty fun, I can log everything & get points & such. & I joined a group (swimsuit bootcamp or something?) that gives away a grand prize!! It started on 5/3 & ends at the end of the month, they pick a random person for the grand prize of $500!! :O I sure could use that...especially after I maxed out another card in FL, opps!! It's not really a "diet" per se, just more getting healthy options. Like NO fast food & excercising. I thought I'd hate the exercising part, but with that site, they have the videos on there for you & they're in 5-15 min increments so they're pretty fun! I like the kickboxing stuff even though it kicks my butt! I think that I might even enroll at the YMCA after my mom takes my Gremlin. They have some pretty interesting classes I'd like to Zumba for example :) I put in my weight & measurements yesterday, I check again in a week to see if anything changed! (I pretty much weigh myself every day at work though, LOL!) Speaking of work, I even used the gym we have yesterday on my break! Yipee!

& on that note, I'm going to take my morning break & go walk on the treadmill!! :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

STOP collaborate and listen

My HP kicked it last week, so pissed. The damn laptop was only two years old...there was NO REASON for it to die. But it did. & I pretty much hate HP now. I bought a cheap laptop from WalMart last night - an Acer - & it's making me really miss my HP. *sigh* I think I should have a laptop funeral for my HP. So many memories...speaking of memories, I need to take out the hard drive to get all my son's pictures out. & make a back-up copy of ALL of them since I don't have one. Duh.

Work is hitting an all-time low with it being so slow. I hate sitting around waiting. I know I'm getting paid & all that junk & lord knows I'm so thankful for that, but I want to be DOING something worthwhile...Hopefully I get the job I put in for the other day, it's a lateral transfer but sounds more busy!!! I don't know how much longer I can sit still, or how much longer they'll continue to pay me to do so...

I'm not *really* tired of couponing though. I went shopping today. I hit a high with a 67% savings at Farm Fresh today, that was rad!

I'm so tired & it's pretty early (for my standards) so I think I'll hit the sack. If no one hears from me in a couple days, please bail me out of jail for attempted murder of my LOUD LOUD LOUD neighbors (with the bad choice in music). Rot in hell frat boy yuppies! GRRRRRRRRRRRR

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


It's been FOREVER! Actually only a few weeks, but who's counting? I hate that I have an online addiction but can't really remember to update this. Or I do remember & just have nothing to write in it...hmmm.

Nothing of importance has happened. Well, I have $10.34 in my bank account & five maxed out credit cards. Yay! My shopping addiction has officially taken over. *sigh* & believe me, that STILL didn't stop me tonight. I went to the grocery store yet again (they had double coupons up to $1!!!!!!!!)...the cashier made me swell with pride as she proclaimed I was a "coupon queen." Oh dear god, here it goes...out of control! It's triple coupons at another grocery store this weekend, whee! I get my return & paycheck on Friday, mwahaha! At least I quit drinking & smoking right? Now I just spend all my money on wonder I'm a fat ass now...hahahaha!!

Speaking of fat asses, I'm totally reading this book right now that describes that "fat" issue between my mother & me. It's called "Why Moms are Weird" & has to be one of the most amazing books ever. In addition to the first one "Why Girls are Weird." I'm in love with that author. *nods* I'm only on my 4th book for the year but I'll make it to 50 this year by all means!

I quit drinking & I'm smelling my bed. I wonder if that's a bad sign? Oh shit...

Okay, so I had a relapse on Friday but there was nothing I could do about it! My friend got back from being at sea for a month...military junk. It was fun & nice to go out again! I cannot wait until March...two shows back to back, *swoon*

Oh, & I will lose weight for them. I MUST have this weight lost by April. Fuck! I'm going home in April, dear old Florida<3 I cannot look like this. I know I've had a kid & all but damn if I'm going to let it show! I need to regulate my sleep schedule again & actually DO some SLEEPING! I need to start exercising again. At least I'm not eating ALL the damn time anymore...& I'm trying to eat healthy. The no sleep is causing the caffeine OD's which is causing the bad crashes though...grrrrr! 2 months to lose weight, at least 30 pounds...dear lord where are you now?! Please exist, please help me lose my fat ass. I promise to pray & bring my kid to church & everything! My journal picture has even been changed to keep me from eating. *nods*

Oh, & dear lord, I need to get some. Please get mr perfect to just ask me out on a date even? A date would be nice. Is it wrong to be asking for this? Hmmm...

Delerium has kicked in, time for bed!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

**insert witty subject line here**

My eyes can barely stay open but I found & got on an internet connection so of course I'm fighting sleep. Duh!

The past week...

+I cleaned some, got a media rack, found my bedroom floor again...things are good! ;)
+I got rid of 11-12 boxes!!!!!!! & it went to a good cause! Wooo!!!
+NO SNOW! *whew* I was worried I've have to DRIVE in the stuff...
+W2s all in, I'm going to try to do my taxes Thurs before we go see my mom
+Wii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 Thanks to my friend who let me borrow it, heh...
-5 credit cards maxed out, broke off my ass...woo...what else is new?!
-freezing ass weather. my heat will probably be turned off because i won't be able to pay this electric bill i'm currently running up...greeeat


Aiden turns 2 in three, no now TWO! days! Wow, crazy that I could own one of those kid things for that long & have no long term damage done to him, hahaha! & everyone keeps telling me he's avanced, YES! Now, only six more months until I can enroll him in the music school & make him a rockstar, mwahahaha


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Here we go...

Ok, so my kid is pretty rad. I was able to calm down a little today & just hang out with him. I took him to the park & played with him. He only wanted to play on the big kid slides, not the "baby" slides. & he fell so many times (mostly on his face) & just got up & brushed it off. Until we got home & he face planted into the parking lot...he's got a nice lovely bruise to show his daycare provider. HAH!

& I'm not joking when I said he can count to 20. He really knows his stuff. He's getting his alphabet slowly but surely. When we had Sesame Street on, he saw a letter on TV & said "R" so I looked up & low & behold, he was right! The kid's not even two yet. He's going to be smarter than mama by the time he reaches kindergarten. LOL

We ended the night by coloring. Well, I was clipping coupons & he sat next to me coloring. It was so cute how excited he got when I would stop & color a little with him.

It's 12:21 & I have to be up earlier than usual to take Aiden to his dentist appt in the morning. Of course I'm not sleepy! Grrr. I'm actually still couponing so that could be part of the reason. & I'm cooling down a chicken I made in the slow turned out okay. It's juicy as hell & falling off the bone which is AWESOME, but I just wish it had more flavor in the actual chicken. I'll learn eventually.

Speaking of cooking, I don't understand why everybody says they can''s pretty easy, just follow directions!! & I can't understand how so many people have not been exposed to different foods. & by different, I just mean not American, but can be found anywhere in America. Sheesh. I really do find it astounding. My kid will know food when he grows up. Even if I am weirded by certain things...gyros, rabbit, shark, goat. *shudder*

My couponing obsession is overpowering me. Hahaha! I'm pretty excited though...K-Mart has double coupons up to $2 all this week!! Amazing! Hopefully I can get some free stuff this week, *grin* I managed to find a way to get some free paper towels at Walgreens already, mwahahah! I also got a free Whopper by deleting people off Facebook, LOL! I told them I sold them out for food, but any of my close friends know that I would do this anyways...hahahhahaa! I also signed up to get a free "sample" of Soy Joy (to go with the 1o bars I already got for $2!) & Cream of Wheat. WOOHOO!!! Go me!!!

Now if only I could tackle this weight loss & exercise thing. I must admit, I did run after Aiden at the park today & climb all over the playground with him so I got *some* exercise. :D I doubt I'll wake up early enough to exercise tomorrow morning (er, this morning), but I will definately do so Tuesday! & I will make myself get over that fear of people seeing me thing & use my work gym on my lunch break. (Or maybe I'll just save that for after I've gotten at least a little in shape so I'm not cracking everyone up by huffing & puffing after three steps on those eliptical machines...)

Internet coupon forum time, wooo! Erm, I mean sleep time...yeah...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Truth starts with lies

That was the only quote that I could remember from House at least. I decided after a month of holding onto the House DVDs that it really was a good price & I would keep it as a Christmas gift to myself. Heh. I finally openned them today! Well, the first season at least...just as awesome as it was when I first started the addiction. *grin*

I also managed to get hooked on yet another thing. Wii. I finally played it for the first time tonight & it was AWESOME! If I go missing for a little while, this would be the reason!

I was out all day & managed to finally get a digital-analog converter box...$10 thanks to govt coupon. I feel all high tech & shit now, LMAO! I also got myself some rad new knee high socks today, they make me so happy. It's the little things...*sigh*

I think I might finally purchase myself a new bra. One of those fancy posture ones. I think *that* is the reason for my back/shoulder/arm pain. I read something online that led me to this conclusion so as soon as I get a new one, I can test my theory out. Or maybe it's just my subconcious trying to get me to go out & get new pretty underwear or something?

Totally into couponing now. I've managed to get yogurt, oatmeal, nutrition bars, tissue, soap, wrapping paper, frozen veggies, broth, candy bars, cake mix, frosting, & fruit snacks for under a dollar or free!! Seriously!! I fucking love coupons!!!!!!

Unfortunate for me, I do not have coupons on clothes. I need clothes. Clothes would be nice so I wouldn't have to wear the same things every week:/ I was at Target today but didn't look at any clothes. Instead, everyone was staring at me as I stood in the furniture aile pulling my hair out with a wailing two-year old. If I would have been looking up or paying attention, I'm sure I would have caught all the dirty looks as I went a little crazy & kept repeating how much I hate kids. I do. I kinda just got caught with one & got attached. I know I'm a bad mom & I feel like shit about it, but my temper gets the best of me. He's not really a bad boy...not all the time at least. But now, because of me, he thinks he is:( He really is a smart kid...he'll be two in a little less than two weeks & is counting to 20 & starting to learn his ABC's already! I am proud of him, it's all my co-workers know of my life. I think I may talk to an air force recruiter too. If I can screw my life up in such a short time, I can fix it ... for him at least. I need to give him something to look up to since I'm the only one he's got...let's see how that goes:/ I have this problem with authority so I'm not sure how MILITARY life would work out for me. My friend told me to look at the bright side...if and when I get kicked out, at least I'd have some money saved up for my kid...hahaha

I don't know what to do & I'm always deliriously tired when I write in this thing. Definately time for bed, ugh! Hopefully it'll be nice again tomorrow & I can take the kiddo to the park!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

everything in my life just thinks for me

Catholicism & their fanatics are the reason I question religion, God, & everything that falls in between. Specifically my mother. I mean really, where does she get off bitching about my parenting skills? I know that I'm not that great of a mom, but that my son has & will have "no goals" because I don't teach him to pray? Please. So over it.

I kept thinking about enrolling my son in a religious private school but every time my mom does something like that, I change my mind. I want him to have his own choices and questions & not be brainwashed or ostracized for having questions. I don't know enough of any religion to teach him much...& I was confirmed a Catholic. Hah! What a joke, alls I did in that confirmation class was get in trouble for talking to my best friend all the time.

I adopted Rock'n'Roll as my religion dammit. What happens when you lose it though?? Hmmm...

So neck/shoulder/arm/back still hurt. 4 chiropractic visits later. WTF?! I think I need to just save the $30/visit & save up for a massage. I'm in pain. I don't think this guy understands. Maybe I'll go to a normal dr this week...& get some fucking vicodin!!!

Ugh, cranky...time for bed. Early tonight, when I don't have to be to work early...go figure!

Monday, January 5, 2009

I've got a heart-size crush on you...

I don't understand my "insomnia." I swear it only kicks in when I absolutely HAVE TO be awake early the next morning. Because any other time, I'd be passed out no problem. *sigh*

The kiddo is peacefully sleeping in his big boy bed, minus a few interruptions from mama cleaning out the closet. I now have EIGHT boxes of baby clothes to sell/donate. EIGHT! Seriously?! Where the hell did they all come from? How does my TODDLER have more clothes than me?! My friend told me the tax deduction receipts are only good if you have at least $500 worth of stuff to donate. I honestly think that if I were to finally get rid of all the junk & clutter in my apartment (which I'm planning on doing for a resolution...), it would add up to that amount. It's gotten out of hand to say the least.

On another note, [some-whatrelated I swear] I am IN LOVE with I've never really used it much until I got a gift certificate for Christmas. Now I can't get enough of it. I can do all my shopping on one site without even leaving the house!! *drool* Not that my financial crisis will be helped at all by doing this, but man it's fun to even just "window shop." I figure I'm allowed to get something once I get rid of at least some of the clutter. I mean, I have a gift certificate after all! Hopefully no one looks at my wish list on there though...I don't think my list is very mommy-like. Or sane. It goes from face wash to parenting books to vibrators. I guess you could tie it all together in some strange way if you really wanted to, but it's MY list dammit.

& on this fabulous Wish List, I have the most amazing [media] cabinet ever. Hopefully I'll have a little bit left over after taxes & paying off debts to get this wonderful cabinet. It would really help to keep the movies & cds off the ground & make the living room look somewhat neat! I need storage damn it! I have no clue why it's so freaking hard to find a furniture store that won't charge an arm & a leg for stuff. Blah. They need Goodwill here. A place so much in poverty & they don't have Goodwill...pffft...

It's 12:51am. I need to be up in about five hours to work a ten hour day & I'm not tired yet. My brain works in strange ways. We were stuck doing NOTHING until about 2:30pm today due to our retarded system being down so we are soooooo backed up now. It's nice to be busy though, I love busy! Good night!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Hello World!


It's been a while since I've done this...this whole "blogging" thing. I think I started with Livejournal when I was like, 16. I think I have four failed journals on that. I kept starting over to get away, or forget...or move on? I guess I'm doing it again...

So like the bio says...20-something single mom who can't grow up. Or get a clue. I love my kid & all but jesus god, sometimes I want to rip my hair out. Or scream. Actually, I do do a lot of that now. I think my voice has grown horse in the past two years. Hoarse. Fuck, I can't even spell anymore...

I miss dying my hair pink and black. I miss going to shows every night. Hell, I miss going out ... alone...& with PEOPLE. I miss being a former groupie whose "band house" was the hippest place in town to party. I miss my lip ring and tank tops and short skirts. I miss my life.

I love the kiddo & all but I was never ready for this. It all happened so fast...especially the part where his father disappeared out of our lives. [May he rot in hell.] I have no freaking clue what to do. & having my friends (& mom-the only family left) a million miles away doesn't help either.

I don't want sympathy, I don't know why everyone thinks so? I just bitch. Seriously. I mean, I really don't know how much more my single (or not so single), non-parent friends can take my incessant whining of toddler temper tantrums, potty training, & cabin fever. We are sarcastic little bitches, we are. I guess moms are magically supposed to grow out of that & be "normal" & socialble or something? So needless to say, I haven't found many friends. & it's really hard to interact (or have a normal conversation) with a person when your two year old is screaming "no" & kicking & punching the ground. I'm old...I'm going deaf, I can't hear over the screaming. Actually, I think the deafness comes from standing in front of too many speakers but that's not the point...

Speaking of old, I found a white hair on MY head. I shit you not. I'm not old...hell, I'm not even 30. I have a white hair. That whole "terrible two's" must've gotten me or something. I definately think it's time to start dying my hair again, it's been like...six months! I don't want my head to look like salt & pepper shakers though...crap.

So anyways, I'll dye my hair & get over it. It's a new year already. It's crazy. The beginning of the year dragged by and then poof, it's August...then it's Christmas. Where the hell did those four months go?! I did nothing last year, I accomplished nothing in 2008. So I guess here's where I make my resolutions now huh???

My 2009 Resolutions:

1. I will stop being a fat ass & get off my couch & exercise. I will lose those 50lbs I've been meaning to by my birthday in June & get my beautiful new tattoo. & take that trip to FL...or BOTH!

2. I will learn to control my temper for my kid's sake. & my blood pressure.

3. I will stop cursing (at least in front of the munchkin) so he doesn't have such a colourful vocabulary when he starts pre-k.

4. I will take at least one class for myself this year. Whether it's scholastic or otherwise. *coughpoledancingcough* I need to find myself again...& have fun again...belly dancing/roller derby/swing/kickboxing here I come!

5. I will clean this god awful apartment once & for all. I will get rid of things I do not need or use; I will actually use my closet & dresser; & I will finally purchase a bookshelf & get all those freaking books out of the boxes in the living room.

6. I will find some way to volunteer my time to the Samaritan House. Or the ASPCA.

7. I will learn patience. In child rearing & driving specifically...

8. I will eat healthier & cook more. That way my kid will stop saying "french fry" & "pizza" every time it's time to eat. Opps.

9. I will be more optimistic. Yes, everybody knows Virginia sucks so I don't need to keep stating the obvious...hahaha

10. I will start trying to budget better, have actual money in our savings account, and not use my credit cards. & pay off that nasty credit card debt I've accumulated...

11. 50 Book Challenge (I only got 25 last year...)

12. No more procrastinating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& on that note, I need to jump in the shower & get some sleep!!! I gotta be up in five hours to get ready for work. Ugh! Why would they make a Thursday a holiday & not a Friday...sooooo cruel.

Happy New Years World. Me. Kiddo.