insomnia.

It's been FOREVER! Actually only a few weeks, but who's counting? I hate that I have an online addiction but can't really remember to update this. Or I do remember & just have nothing to write in it...hmmm.

Nothing of importance has happened. Well, I have $10.34 in my bank account & five maxed out credit cards. Yay! My shopping addiction has officially taken over. *sigh* & believe me, that STILL didn't stop me tonight. I went to the grocery store yet again (they had double coupons up to $1!!!!!!!!)...the cashier made me swell with pride as she proclaimed I was a "coupon queen." Oh dear god, here it goes...out of control! It's triple coupons at another grocery store this weekend, whee! I get my return & paycheck on Friday, mwahaha! At least I quit drinking & smoking right? Now I just spend all my money on food...no wonder I'm a fat ass now...hahahaha!!

Speaking of fat asses, I'm totally reading this book right now that describes that "fat" issue between my mother & me. It's called "Why Moms are Weird" & has to be one of the most amazing books ever. In addition to the first one "Why Girls are Weird." I'm in love with that author. *nods* I'm only on my 4th book for the year but I'll make it to 50 this year by all means!

I quit drinking & I'm smelling alcohol...in my bed. I wonder if that's a bad sign? Oh shit...

Okay, so I had a relapse on Friday but there was nothing I could do about it! My friend got back from being at sea for a month...military junk. It was fun & nice to go out again! I cannot wait until March...two shows back to back, *swoon*

Oh, & I will lose weight for them. I MUST have this weight lost by April. Fuck! I'm going home in April, dear old Florida<3 I cannot look like this. I know I've had a kid & all but damn if I'm going to let it show! I need to regulate my sleep schedule again & actually DO some SLEEPING! I need to start exercising again. At least I'm not eating ALL the damn time anymore...& I'm trying to eat healthy. The no sleep is causing the caffeine OD's which is causing the bad crashes though...grrrrr! 2 months to lose weight, at least 30 pounds...dear lord where are you now?! Please exist, please help me lose my fat ass. I promise to pray & bring my kid to church & everything! My journal picture has even been changed to keep me from eating. *nods*

Oh, & dear lord, I need to get some. Please get mr perfect to just ask me out on a date even? A date would be nice. Is it wrong to be asking for this? Hmmm...

Delerium has kicked in, time for bed!!!!!!