Tuesday, February 15, 2011

crushcrushcrush

I am almost convinced I have A.D.D. I used to be able to write/blog/journal freely & frequently. Now it's sporadically or as time permits, which as of lately has been really lacking. As my co-worker/work mom says, "You're trying to fit 38 hours into a 24 hour day." Maybe so...

It's finally happened. It's only taken 4 years. It's briefly taken a hold of my brain/life/heart. I found an amazing man that reciprocates the same feelings. (I hope) After spending the past 4 days with each other, I'm pretty sure there's a little something there. I'm floating again, I'm smiling again, I'm happy again. I've finally let my heart move in that direction. Here's hoping it works out & I'm not left in the dust again... although his loving caresses are almost worth it. almost. & for the gremlin's sake, I hope he doesn't hurt us. Neither of us could take that but I want so bad to take this risk & find out.

My job is still hell but I suppose I'm getting the hang of it. Now if I could just get in the habit of holding my tongue, not losing my patience, and being fake with the rest of the 'girls' I might be set. It's a paycheck that pays my bills & I know I do a good job & everything I can do. For now. There's been too many close calls lately.

Back in school. School is going bad, due to my lack of motivation & interest in the subjects I have left. After 3 years, I finally got a new tattoo to motivate me & strengthen myself to succeed. & time is running out...in every aspect of my life. I need to buckle down & get this - school, work, love, life.

Here's hoping this year will be better than the last... so far, so good<3

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